how I weaned myself off Coke

It actually took therapy. When I was little, I used to come home from school and fix myself a glass of Coke. I'd pour a newly opened Coke into a short, wide tumbler, over ice that cracked under the quiet fizz of carbonation. I'd swish the ice cubes around and sip it like it was Scotch, as I settled down with my sister to catch the last half of our favorite soap, Santa Barbara.

I didn't get into all this with my therapist, Bob. I only told him that I felt tired almost all the time. Coke only came up as I waved around a half-empty bottle, claiming it was the source of any personality I may have. It was our first meeting, and it was 9am. Or rather, 9:10, as I had asked my cab driver to pull over by a deli so I could run in for a Coke, having fervently imagined during the ride all the horrors of an hour-long meeting in the morning with no caffeine whatsoever, much less a meeting where I may have to answer prodding questions, and look into myself. What would I do with my hands?

Bob asked me if I drank Coke a lot. I said I would die without it. He calmly suggested I not drink caffeine after 5pm, and keep a sleeping log for a couple of weeks. So, I did. And it wasn't very hard because I could still have it in the morning when I needed it most, and at 4:59 to carry me through the rest of the day. I had heard of moderation before but, for me, it had never held the dramatic import of, say, cutting soda, sugar, dairy, and refined carbs from one's diet all in the same week. Of course, that kind of plan only makes you want those things more. I knew from experience Coke would only taste better after a couple days of withdrawal, filled with lethargy and headaches. I would get through the headaches only to reward myself with a cold, bubbly Coke.

As it turns out, I'm not an insomniac. Without an after-dinner coffee or a Coke to accompany a midnight snack, it started becoming easier and easier to fall asleep before 3am. Who knew? (In my defense, in college I used to fall asleep immediately after drinking three cans of Coke in preparation for a long night of studying, so it didn't occur to me what an effect it was having on my sleep habits.)

By the time I saw Bob again in two weeks, I was actually feeling sleepy before midnight, and falling asleep within 20 minutes of going to bed. I woke up naturally in the morning, rather than to a beleaguered alarm set perpetually on snooze. And no longer found it necessary to have a Coke first thing in the morning to prop open my eyelids. I still had one, but it was more out of habit than absolute necessity. Feeling just the tiniest bit healthier, I started drinking more tea, especially in the afternoon for a pick-me-up, realizing I liked honey Darjeeling and green teas with nothing added, rather then my usual Earl Grey with whole milk, or sometimes half and half, and three teaspoons of sugar, followed later by a soda. When I came in from the heat, I made sure I had ice-cold water on hand to quench my thirst before reaching for a Coke. I'd still reach for one--but it's not the same refreshing experience when you're already full from water. I drank much less.

My biggest substitution success, though, came from a Kombucha tea drink, which, like Coke, comes cold, fizzy, and bottled. Like Coke, I could drink it with a straw. Unlike Coke, it is only 30-50 calories a serving and supposedly good for you. I won't go into any health benefits here, as I don't think anything's been scientifically proven, but it's a cultured tea drink that supposedly helps with digestion and metabolism. People with liver problems shouldn't drink this. There's residual caffeine, comparable to decaf coffee, and a low amount of sugar (about 2 grams, which is half a teaspoon, in the brand that I drink, and none of it is in the form of high fructose corn syrup).

It also gives me a slight buzz, which I don't think I'm imagining because there's a trace amount of alcohol in there from the fermentation process. But instead of making me feel drowsy soon after, like any other kind of alcohol, it simply goes away after having done it's part (making me feel awake and spry). It's sour, tart taste is one to be acquired. But I love vinegar and anything acidic, so took to this right away. My favorite flavors are Gingerade and Passionfruit. If you're trying it for the first time, I'd suggest trying one like the Passionfruit, which contains some fruit juice. Whole Foods actually has a good price for this, at $3.19 a bottle. It's pricey, but the recommendation is to drink only half a bottle a day initially, the cost of which is equivalent to what I was spending on Coke anyway. You can make it yourself at very little cost. But I'm afraid I won't be able to tell bad spores from good spores.

I've been drinking it for a while, but I still try to keep it down to half a bottle a day or one every other day, both for cost reasons and because I don't think too much of anything can be a good thing. It just helps me wake up. And now when I do drink Coke sometimes, it doesn't taste sublime like the other times I've stayed away. It tastes awfully sweet. And syrupy. And flat. (Kombucha keeps its natural fizz for a longer period of time.)

Which is not to say I've stopped drinking Coke altogether. There are certain foods that call for it. (Greasy, fried, fatty foods.) But I don't need to buy it in bulk anymore. I kind of still feel anxious if there isn't one in the fridge, but I won't need to have the one I do keep in the fridge for a while. I don't feel compelled to drink it simply because it's there.

This has been a long post, so let us now sum up in bullet points for those of you with attention deficit and for those of you who, like me, dearly love a bullet point (not to mention a dry-erase board):

• Do not ban Coke and fixate on it as an evil object of addiction. Rather, place it in the bigger picture--in my case, the evil that is caffeine after 5pm, depriving me of sweet, sweet sleep. (You need some clear purpose in mind, so it's not just an arbitrary choice and so you can look for results. In this case, being able to sleep and wake up early.)
• Be a pragmatist, not an ideologue. That is, be George Bush, Sr. not Dick Cheney. Sure, caffeine and high fructose corn syrup can be couched in evil terms, but be realistic. Work with it. Set limits, such as the 5pm time limit. Sometimes I go past this now, but go back to it when I feel like I'm having one too many Cokes (usually during a period when I am stressed).
• Practice substitution. Find a healthy alternative. God-willing, one that gives you a buzz. FIXATE on it and become equally addicted to that. 

Comments

[Gloria]

So many dependencies so little time. I wonder how to substitute a larger food category like processed carbs?

[Julie]

Hi Gloria! Probably replacing them w/whole grains and complex carbs would be a start. But I'm writing this the same night I had a meatball sub at Cosi--they have a whole wheat version of their bread now, but I selected the normal white out of habit. I'll try the whole wheat next time though, if only to practice my own advice.

[Ian]

The buzz you feel from Kombucha isn't from the alcohol. Although homemade kombucha can sometimes get as high as 3% abv, GT's is less than half a percent. Meaning in order to get as much alcohol as one light beer, you'd have to drink a gallon of kombucha.

It's theorized that the buzz has more to do with the kombucha speeding up your metabolism, in other words you're feeling light because your body is working above its usual efficiency.

[Julie]

Hmm...that sounds lovely..to have such a high functioning metabolism. I have to start drinking Kombucha again. I kind of stopped because one morning at work on an empty stomach, I guzzled half a bottle down pretty quickly and actually turned a little pink, like I would with half a bottle of beer--or maybe even a quarter-bottle. I am such a lightweight, and maybe that was a particularly fresh bottle. It's never happened before. But I'm planning on eating breakfast now, so it shouldn't be a problem.