how to calm a stomach ache post dairy

This is where arrogance and laziness gets you: doubled over in a dull sort of pain from meddlesome stomach cramps, most likely caused by the evil that is dairy. I got cocky. After my bout with eating fruits and vegetables as the mainstay of my diet, I gave myself carte blanche to eat what I wanted. Carefully at first, in small portions, but not so selectively. While I stayed away from processed foods, I basically reintroduced dairy, wheat, meat, and sugar into my diet all at the same time.

And to little ill effect. My stomach was not as flat but, save for a pound or two, I held off from gaining back all the weight lost (okay, I'm only talking about 5 pounds here). I once again had to blow my nose in the morning, but not as frequently as before. I didn't feel quite as spry, but I did have the memory of three ample slices of Di Fara's pizza, garnished with a variety of cheeses, olive oil, and extra basil which, short of an appendectomy, is worth a number of discomforts including the 90-minute wait. (Go with friends you have not seen for a long time so you have plenty to catch up on.)

But I had no gastro-discomfort, which confirmed my longstanding impression that my stomach is made of iron. Then one lovely day, with nothing to do especially but to catch up on TV and wonder how to prep the artichokes looking feebler by the minute in the fridge, I decided to have some potato chips and dip instead. I know how to fix that in a jiffy. Obtain sour cream, pour in Lipton onion soup mix, chill. Take chip out of bag, dip. Repeat numerous times until there are no chips left. I didn't go out of my way for the organic sour cream, but it still tasted pretty good.

I don't know at what point exactly my stomach started to hurt--maybe after the Oreos and milk, although I still feel those were relatively benign--but I can tell you that it was not worth it. And it lasted the whole day. I've never had that kind of stomach ache before. Maybe because I hadn't had dairy in so long and a cup (and a half) of sour cream and a glass of milk was overdoing it? Di Fara's doesn't count because they use aged cheese, in part, which doesn't contain lactose. Perhaps I'm lactose-intolerant like 90% of all Asians? Or maybe it was the processed nature of the chips.

In any case, looking back on it, I don't mind so much as your body probably should have a revulsion to bad food with no nutritional value. Maybe mine never did before because it was inoculated in some way because it was so accustomed to it. Anyway, here is what I found online about what to in the case of a tummy ache. Whenever I have a medical problem, imagined (West Nile, Anthrax, bedbug infestation) or otherwise, I turn to Google first.

You can take an antacid like Tums or whatever over-the-counter medication they produce in droves for these things. Or you can have some peppermint tea and lie down in a fetal position--and this is very important--on your left side. See, for hours, I had been lying down in a fetal position--as I am prone to do when faced with many a dilemma--on my right side. But then I found this nugget of information, turned around, and felt a good deal better. Not completely better, but it did make a difference. Then I slept it off.

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